World Breastfeeding Week 2018

It's World Breastfeeding Week and I guess I'm going to spew some opinions into the internet abyss.

The AAP and WHO both recommend babies be exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months of their lives. I count myself lucky that I am physically/emotionally/mentally capable of doing that and more. I have numerous friends and acquaintances that could not breastfeed. Their reasons varied from not being comfortable doing it, to not producing enough milk, to relying on certain medications that couldn't co-exist with breastfeeding. Some of my friends took this in stride, while some of my friends suffered tons of guilt and shame about not performing this task.

There truly are soooooo many factors that play into a parent's "decision" on feeding their baby. There are places in the world where the water supply is so suspect, formula can be dangerous. There are places in the world where the water supply is perfectly fine and formula is a totally healthy option. There are people who have suffered experiences that make certain intimate sensations traumatic. There are people who feel spiritually fulfilled by the act of breastfeeding their baby. There are people who have difficult work situations that make pumping enough milk impossible. There are people who have the luxury of staying home with their kids full time and not even needing to pump. There are people who desperately want to breastfeed... who eat lactation cookies and pump between feedings and gulp bitter teas in an effort to encourage their body to make more milk. There are people who have so much extra milk they donate their extra supply by the gallon.

I am so incredibly saddened and tired with the direction many infant feeding discussion go in modern American mommy culture. I can't quite understand why so many objective measures are used on such a subjective issue. There are statistical benefits to breastfeeding for both mothers and babies, it is true. Breastfeeding has been shown to reduce SIDS, helps protect infants against some diseases/conditions, and a slight reduction in rates of certain types of breast cancer to list a few in the "pro" column. That said, I struggle to think of a better example where statistics aren't going to apply universally. Many of the "benefits" are statistically true, but small. And in many cases, there are a lot of ways to reduce risks, beyond breastfeeding. I'm not in any way saying it's not significant or worth exploring. I'm saying how can an internet stranger or community sanctimommy properly evaluate how reducing certain risks by single digits compares to a mother's mental health, medical needs, employment requirements, etc.?

Breastfeeding is NOT easy, and I am certain there are too many people who assume that it is. I cried at least once a day for the first six weeks of my daughter's life as I struggled to get into a productive breastfeeding relationship. I always imagined it was as simple as putting a baby's face on my boob... But that is far from the case for many mothers. You could have low milk production, too much milk production, a baby who can't get good suction, a baby who pops off constantly, PPD, twins, or any number of individualized obstacles.

Formula is NOT easy, and I am certain there are too many people who assume that it is. I had to supplement with my second child starting around 6 months. I cried with guilt and frustration for why I breastfed my first for 12 months, but couldn't do the same for my second. The mixing and storage of formula was not intuitive. It smelled yucky. I had to come up with creative ways to prep supplies so middle of the night feedings were easier. And there is public shaming and judgement for formula-feeding mothers, just as there is for breastfeeding.

Whether you bust out a boob or get caught mixing a bottle of formula, if you're on the bench at your local mall you may be gritting your teeth and hoping some rando won't walk up to you and say something rude. Whether you successfully breastfeed or use formula, you need information, education, and support - emotional, physical, and otherwise. Whether you SHOULD breastfeed or use formula, is so incredibly specific to your situation. No online listicle or Buzzfeed quiz or commenter in a Mommy Group is going to be able to take the complexity of your needs into account. That is why you should consult with your doctors, your pediatrician, a lactation consultant, or other qualified/credible professionals who are equipped to weigh the myriad of risks and benefits in your case.

When it comes to industrialized nations with safe water, generalized recommendations are meant to be taken "all things being equal." If you can physically breastfeed and don't have obstacles preventing you from doing so, the AAP and WHO feel the benefits are worth doing so for the first 6 months. But if you have reasons to consider formula, I hope you feel supported and comfortable entertaining that option. For what it is worth, breast or bottle, I support you.