Why I Changed My Mind About "Breast Milk Jewelry"

My milk jewelry is from Hollyday Designs.

I've been pregnant and/or breastfeeding since 2014. I am not in love with either experience, to be honest. You can read more about my breastfeeding thoughts/experience here, but that's not the main thing I'm writing about today.

I still remember when I was nursing my first kid and a girlfriend of mine who was also nursing mentioned that she really wanted to get some breast milk jewelry. I had never heard of it before and the concept was strange to me. For several years, any time I contemplated it, I always came back to "why do I need a souvenir of this process? I have the living child as a symbol and remembrance of the experience..." Maybe it was because breastfeeding was never "spiritual" or "personally fulfilling" for me. It was just the way I happened to feed my children for a time. I didn't see breast milk jewelry as much more than if I had a chicken nugget pendant.

But something changed with my final baby...

Some of it is definitely the nostalgia of it all. That even though it was months and months and months of doing something I didn't even like that much, the day is fast approaching where I will "never" nurse again. I'll be an old dried up hag. (Ha ha... just kidding... sort of). Just like the "tiny newborn" chapter of my life, despite the hardships I know I'll miss some aspects once it's gone forever.

Then there is the sacrifice and hard work of it all. The literal YEARS I have had to avoid fantastic medicines (sleep aids, cold medicine, migraine pills, etc). The many times I just wanted to eat onion rings or cole slaw or broccoli or a big ol' plate of cheese and crackers. All things that, in my experience, cause infant tummy upset that is not worth it. And don't get me started on the late afternoon wishes for a strong coffee. Or to have a strong cocktail... In so many ways, breastfeeding isn't that unlike pregnancy. Your body isn't fully yours to do with as you please. I mean, and I know this sounds crazy, but I can't wait to DIET again. Believe it or not, it's something I miss... Being able to restrict my calories without repercussions. Unfortunately, my body doesn't like that and my milk supply tanks when I restrict myself. And that is stressful and unpleasant and just not worth it. So I just keep carrying all that gorgeous baby weight with each new baby, even as my body works overtime as a food dispensary.

Lastly, I had a revelation while conversing with a friend about her breast milk jewelry. In her tragic circumstances, her body was making milk for a baby that never came home. And when she showed me the ring she bought, I suddenly thought about it all in a very different way. That the milk was a very physical connection to this other human. A monument to what your body did... Whether you continue to breastfeed or not, whether you enjoy it or not, whether you only make a few drops or gallons of the stuff... it only exists because your body created another life.

And sure, your kid is a living reminder of that as well. But they are so very independent of you, so very quickly. And maybe that is part of the difference of perspective I have now too... My two toddlers are such their own people. They have strong personalities and preferences and seem so separate from me now. Needy AF but still their own autonomous selves. But my milk somehow meets us in the middle. It's the bridge between them being part of my body and then being on their own. For me, it has become a physical manifestation of cradling that new life in my arms instead of my womb. That sensation of shared existence while still being able to look them in their eyes.

So, I changed my mind. With my last little baby, and my last breastfeeding relationship, I finally sent away for wearable keepsakes. I don't feel superior for having been able to nurse my kids. But it was part of my individual motherhood journey. And I'm sure glad I decided I wanted these mementos while I still had the key ingredient on hand.