How I Edited My Phone For Happiness & Wellbeing

Two weeks ago I took a sabbatical from social media for the long Labor Day weekend. It was partially because I was mentally fried from all the stupidity, negativity, and general awfulness. It was partially because it was my anniversary weekend and I wanted a few days where my husband and I could play video games and watch movies like ye olden days before we had smart phones. 

It was glorious.

However, it's not realistic for me to eschew social media to an extreme degree when my part time job is to run social media accounts for a craft brewery. So, I spent the past two weeks limiting it dramatically and reshaping my habits. I redirected myself every time I mindlessly drove myself towards Facebook or picked up my phone without even meaning to. I was honestly so disgusted with how often I would blink and realize that in a small moment of quiet, my hand grabbed my phone and clicked through to social media before my brain even caught up with the action. I'm like a trained rat. 

After a lot of contemplation and self-reflection, I developed the following list of ways I could have a happier, more productive lifestyle through phone edits and associated behaviors:

Edit Your Home Screen

Intentionally and thoughtfully edit your home screen. 

1. Avoid having stacked apps on your home screen. There's tons of research on how clutter affects us mentally and when we are looking at our phones so much, it stands to reason that clutter on our screens might impact us similarly and I already feel an appreciation for the cleaner read. I still have stacked apps on the second screen, but the screen I see when I open my phone requires no deeper dive. It's a combination of apps I regularly need, or apps that support my health and wellbeing...

2. Have the right apps on your home screen. For me, this is NOT Facebook. It is not Zulily. It is not NextDoor. Those are apps that are easy to get sucked into and that foster bad vibes or bad habits. It's too easy to get into heated debates or to blow $100. Those apps deserve to get buried a bit by stacking them and putting them on the second phone screen. I intentionally made them harder to access. For my home screen I focused on health and wellbeing, with some of my necessary apps that aren't inherently negative. For example, Pinterest and Instagram are fun to scroll and while there is the occasional bummer, it's mostly joy. Recipes and food pics, organization ideas and my friends' children. Those were allowed to stay. My calorie tracker and weather apps are ones I use daily and are helpful. My most used photo editing apps. And so on. This will have to be tailored to each person. I don't play a lot of games on my phone, but if I were so prone, I could see putting a fun game on my home screen. If I loved sports, maybe there's a sports app that cheers you up or exercises your brain. I don't think they key here for ME was to have apps that were only focused on productivity or inspiration, but ones that are NOT black holes. 

3. Make it visually appealing. Treat your home screen like a bookshelf. Don't just throw shit up there haphazardly. Figure out what you find pleasing to the eye and go with it. I organized my apps into a rainbow and put similar colors/designs into rows and columns. There is something about having it this way that snaps my brain out of mindlessness when I open up my phone. I take more of a moment to really LOOK at it and that has helped make sure I'm using my phone intentionally. It's also soothing instead of chaotic. For an added bonus, rearranging your apps is a fantastic way to kick off new, better habits with your phone. For the first couple of days I would open my phone and my fingers were trained to immediately click on certain social media apps... Once these were moved, I'd find myself staring at a random photo app or Instacart before I knew what was happening. It helped me realize how addicted and trained I was, and it has helped a lot in breaking habits. 

Edit Your Excess 

After you prioritize apps for your home screen, it's time to deal with all the rest of them.

1. Delete apps you never use or that you no longer need.

2. Simplify and stack the excess apps. If these are the apps you rarely use or wish you used less, then prioritize your streamlined mental process. You don't need to swipe over and sift through a full screen of apps. Especially if you're going to see one of those apps you can't resist clicking on to scroll (for me this is FB or Twitter). When the apps are stacked, it helps you be more intentional. You aren't likely to click into a group of apps unless you are trying to get to something specific. 

3. Get rid of as many notifications as you can. Notifications are the food pellet that trains our rat brains to opt into certain apps. Not only because we want to see those "likes" and "comments," etc. but also because we want that little notification bubble to go away. For a couple days, every time one of your apps displays notifications, click into it and edit your notification settings on that app. Get rid of all push notifications. Those are the worst because they pop up and disrupt whatever else we are doing or thinking about or working on. After push notifications, I highly recommend getting rid of as many other types of notifications as you are comfortable with. I had to keep some to manage the customer service and needs of the brewery I work for, but was able to get rid of a lot. Think about what you actually NEED to know. You could make an argument about needing to know when someone comments on something as maybe you're asking for information you need, you manage a brand page, you are offering help, and so on. But do you really need to know if someone "likes" something you wrote? Does knowing someone "liked" your post actually impact what you need to do with your time? Because I can't think of a single reason why I need to know that outside of the faux ego boost our brains interpret that "like" to be. So I got rid of them. 

4. Reduce scrollable content. I unliked hundreds of pages. Over the past however many years I had accumulated so many page likes that honestly only served to fill my newsfeed with BS and to help Facebook target me for ads. Many of these pages have been archived or deleted for a long time, or were remnants of a past version of myself that no longer exists. Shows I haven't watched for a decade, products I no longer use, personalities I no longer appreciate, etc. I'll take a moment here to give you a couple tips on this front. I found that any pages that had been deleted wouldn't let me "unlike" them. After some internet digging, I found the solution was to temporarily revert to "old facebook" in my settings. This let me unlike those pages, BUT after unliking X number of pages in rapid succession Facebook cut me off for "spam like activity" (*eyeroll*) and I had to take a break for an hour or so before it would let me continue. I'm embarrassed to admit that I had over 1,000 liked pages. However, I have not reduced that number to 30. To determine whether or not to unlike a page I would ask myself things along the lines of "Does this page/account help serve my desire to spend less time on social media, and to live more peacefully/joyfully?" I would also consider whether social media was the best way to get that type of information. News sources, for example. Did I want social media to feed me news information through whatever formulas they have set up? Did I want to feed into the outrage-click-bait? Did I want to be tempted to read the comments? I am passionate about science and evidence-based, critical thinking. However, I don't need Facebook pages to learn those things. If a topic or current event captures my interest, I can search out original, varied sources for more information and details. Not only will this focus my efforts and reduce distractions, but it will serve to give me a more balanced perspective.  

Redirect Your Boredom

Happier distractions for more restful downtime.

Less of a phone edit and more of a life hack, but it applies to this entire shift in focus with regards to our phone behaviors... find some simple, accessible hobbies. Make sure you have a mix of mindless and mindful options available. We have all gotten to the point where waiting for a doctor's appointment or sitting on the couch between obligations is inconceivable without something to "do." For the vast majority of us, that thing we do is scroll through our phones. Do waiting rooms even really need magazine anymore? I am aware that I lived without a smart phone for most of my life. I obviously waited for oil changes and hung out in my dorm room and passed small windows of time without endless access to internet and information feeds. I just can't really remember what that was like. This is a hard habit to break. As with most things I've written about in this post, I'm still working on them and getting used to them. This one is hardest. 

1. One of the most portable, productive, and rewarding things you can replace "scroll time" with is reading a good book. I absolutely recommend this if you are so inclined. I have a stack of books I never got around to that I'm slowly making my way through. And I love that I can take a paperback with me anywhere, much like my phone. That said... As a parent, I definitely have a lot of teeny tiny windows of time where I can't mentally invest in reading a book. Either because I can't focus well enough or because it's pointless to read a couple paragraphs of a novel that I will just have to re-read when I have more time. (Quick note that I have found books of poetry to be good in these situations, if you're into that sort of thing). 

2. Apps are still an option. I am just trying to prioritize different ones. For example, I might browse my grocery store on instacart and start adding things to my cart that I think I'll need in my next order. I usually have a running cart situation for a week or two before I actually check out. Or I browse Pinterest for new snack ideas for the kids or a way to use up the half bag of chopped walnuts I still have in the pantry. I added a podcast app to my home screen because this is something I'd like to listen to more. 

3. Brain puzzles, actual puzzles, coloring books, and things of that ilk are great. I'm currently working my way through a "sticker by numbers" book where sheets of stickers come together to create famous photos of pop icons. It doesn't require much thought, but it is great for eating up 20-60 minutes. I had to get over my dismissal of an activity that seemed unproductive or without purpose. That's what social media is. However, putting stickers down on a piece of paper isn't going to make me feel sad or angry. Once I'm done with this I'll move on to a coloring book or some old friendship bracelet supplies. I've discovered I have lots of little craft supplies in deep drawers and basement shelves. I know crafting isn't everyone's cup of tea, and most crafts aren't that portable... but maybe if there is something you like, you can find a good outlet for down time that isn't a soul sucker. I'd love to hear your ideas and suggestions. Especially ones that you can take with you on the go. 

4. Productive hobbies are also great. While I'm working on being more ok with absent-minded activities, I'm still completely on board with productive uses of time. For example, I'm writing a lot more. I'm also devoting more "free" time to selling and purging items from my home I don't need. I'm cooking a ton and trying new cuisines and recipes. A month ago I would have felt like this all sounds too ambitious for a busy mom... but when my phone tells me that my average daily screen time is 4 hours, it's time to be more honest with myself.

5. Don't underrate actual "do nothing" time. I've listened to more music in the past few weeks than I have in years. In the before-times... in high school and in college, I would simply lay in bed listening to music. It's almost inconceivable to think of, now. But as I intentionally avoid social media, I've rediscovered my love of just sitting with my thoughts and listening to great music. I admit to being an introvert and someone who is more than ok with quiet introspection. I'm not sure my extrovert husband would enjoy it, outside of late night reverie before bed. For me, however, it's a love I'm reconnecting with and it feels so good. Plus I've discovered some truly lovely music I hadn't heard before.

Before I end this long and rambling blog post, I have to plug "The Social Dilemma." I watched this documentary in pieces over the past couple days, based on the recommendation of a friend. It could not have come up at a better time as I had already begun on this journey at the beginning of the month. It took what I already felt and compounded it with more insights and questions about how social media is affecting us as individuals and as a society. Some of the scenes are dramatized and cheesy, but it's still very much worth watching.

I realize that aspects of this post might come across as santimonious and annoying. For that, I am sorry. I'm hopeful that if you read it, however, it is because you feel like making some changes and thought one or more of these tips was helpful. After all, it was an image on Pinterest of a curated home screen that kicked off my own journey, for which I'm feeling very grateful today. If you're enthusiastic with your current phone practices and app use, all the power to you! We are all of us individuals, and one thing that remains utterly unchanged about me as a person is my steadfast belief that if your joys don't harm anyone else, then they have my support and celebration.